Friday, 28 December 2012

Dealing With Failure

I was meant to write a blog soon after the Bouldering Youth Open Event on the 9th December. But i didn't exactly feel like exposing how badly i had done. I don't want to go into the details but I made it into finals and came 6th overall. Which is 5 places down from my result from the summer in Youth A. And i didn't make it on to the Youth Bouldering Team which was my main goal. I can't actually describe how demotivated i felt and how angry and upset with myself i was. I could make all sorts of excuses to why i had done so badly and the list would be huge, but instead i'm going to concentrate on getting fit and strong again for next year. I think it's awesome how all the competitors did over the weekend too, well done to them all.

2012 has been an interesting year. Up to July i was fit and strong and climbing better than ever, i was getting great results all year. Then things went downhill from about August and my other blogs explain some of the reasons why. Illness has been a big factor in how my climbing had stopped progressing, i actually can't remember the last time i felt well. But things like this happen and it stops you from climbing well and training. You've just got to let it pass and do all you can to get yourself better. That's what i'm trying to do and it's pointless attempting to climb hard at the moment. A huge part of climbing well and being fit and healthy is diet in my opinion. If you don't feed your body what it needs how is it going to get stronger and cope with hard training? And by improving diet i don't mean eating a carrot a day, i mean eating regular, balanced meals of nutritious foods everyday. This has always been a struggle and i feel that it is finally the time to kick myself and realise that my climbing is not going to get better unless i eat well. And this time my mum is even wanting to eat better too, which is a relief seeing as i live with her! This also gave me an idea for her Christmas present, an alkaline recipe book, and i can make her feel guilty if she doesn't use it!

One of many things that isn't really recognised in climbing is how young people have to deal with failure by themselves. I know loads of people that weren't happy with themselves in many comps, including the youth opens. And they had to deal with it, myself included. Yes there are parents, coaches and friends but sometimes it's difficult for them to understand how you're feeling if they have never been in your position before. I'm lucky because my coach, Lucinda Whittaker, has been in my position before so i feel entirely comfortable in talking to her about how i'm climbing and comp results. But some young people don't have that. Especially young girls that climb with their dads and i doubt that many dads understand how difficult it is for a young teenage girl to cope with not doing their best in a competition or not climbing well for a while. Or if a young girl has a male coach that hasn't got knowledge of how girls work, it can be so hard for both the climber and coach/parent. I know this because i have been through it, seen as i have always climbed with my dad.

Anyway, my plans for 2013 are big changes in my lifestyle. I want to get stronger and fitter than ever before. I want to surpass anyones expectations of myself and prove that the 9th December was just a bad day and that i can represent Great Britain around the world. This is a huge task and it isn't going to be easy, but i am definitely prepared to put in the effort. I've joined the gym, which is going to help me get fit. My diet is going to improve. And i am going to be training hard so that at the second round of the JBBC's i can prove myself. And then go on to bigger things. This is definitely a plan i am going to stick to.

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